Remembrances........:)

An expression to your emotions.Hope I have done justice to them.It's a pleasure to have a friend like you...:)


Gone are the days when inexperienced emotions didn’t overwhelm me, gone are the days when complexities of life didn’t perturb me, gone are the days when the beckoning call of future didn’t grab my attention and gone are the days when my  identity didn’t have any relation with anyone unknown.Gone are those days…

Those were the days when I smiled innocently,those were the days when I played joyfully,those were the days when I basked in the glory of  endless friendships and those were the days when i disregarded any association beyond the one known to me,dear to me.Those were the days…

Now are the days when every inch spread of smile is proportional to the relevant news I receive,now are the days when an incident happens because it has to and not because of want for it,now are the days when emotions sacred to me seem distant and now are the days when things which were once so close appear out of reach.Now are the days…

Those will be the days when the  life of my dreams and that of reality will be at one eighty degrees,those will be the days when I will fondly remember my acts of today,those will be the days when a new circle of people and life will dawn upon me and those will be the days when I will turn back and see a the unending road of life that I would have treaded upon for years.Those will be the days…

I will be grateful to HIM and people in my life for making it so beautiful…I am sure.I will be  successful in whatever I do…I am sure.I will be content..i am sure.I will be happy…I am sure………………….Still while standing on the countryside moors when the chill of the winter,the breeze of autumn,the colours of spring and the heat of summer will the jostle against my wrinkled face,I will smile because the image of your ever smiling face will cross my mind;I will blush because the thought of the first flow of unknown emotions that you kicked will engulf me;I will laugh because remembering the incident when i had the audacity to express my helplessness for you to you will make me feel young and I will cry because  the reality will hit soon…I will be there on that hilltop –alone.I would have spent a wonderful life with wonderful people and would always wish the same for you but still I will be alone.All alone when I remember you as I still do,24*7.

Seasons will make for way for each other,people will make way for others,my place will be taken by others because I will be gone…gone with fulfillment,of relationships,of career,of life and of YOU,even though your existence will always be in my thoughts,my heart..I will still be fulfilled…I am sure!!


Regards
Manpreet


P.S:Hope this is acceptable.Tried my best

my world... PERSONIFIED!!!

It has been a month since i last updated my blog...time factor has nothing to do with it...thanks to ur course structure and ur present priorities-we have all the time to be busy doing nothing!!!It was just that i didnt come across anything which could evoke such emotions and thoughts in me that could materialize into a piece of literature...today something such happened...

I was having an interesting discussion(or as it can be otherwise put-"gossip")with a close friend of mine on relationships(no pat on the back for guessing what kind of relationships!!!) and suddenly she said-"Whatever may happen I will never go against my mother.The very thought of doing so is more than a blasphemy for me."She said this and moved ahead......I kept standing there for a minute on the stair overpowered by an avalanche of thoughts which made me numb...literally.Have i done something consciously or unconsciously which my mother would not approve of???have i done something especially in the last eight months which would mar the trust of twenty two years that assured my mother to allow me to be away from home to have a career??my heart stopped beating as the realization dawned and a recap of all the events that have occured got me the answer.

The tears rolling down my face diverted my thoughts from present to past and the flashes of my mother looking at me with mistful eyes made me once again realize the need,the necessity,the importance and the reality of the presence of this lady in my life.I remember her smiling face when she saw me dressed up in a sari for the first time,i remember her claps when i won just a consolation prize in a drawing competition,I remember her laughter when i got good results,I remember her hiding in the garden and crying when my class twelve board result was not good,i remember her keeping fast for my recovery from an illness,i remember her spending sleepless nights for my project works,i remember her walking naked feet to gurudwara 5 kms away from home to thank god for my well being,i remember her saying to someone when i went on stage to collect the medal for the best student in college-"she's my daughter",i remember her accepting wishes from everyone in the party that followed-"i m proud of her",i remember her saying to everyone in the family-"she'll be a role model for all the other chidren in the family",i remember her hugging me so tight when i was to come to mumbai as if she didnt want her heart and soul to move an inch anywhere and i remember her standing, waving and crying till the bus(in which i was sitting all gloomy on the prospect of returning back from vacation) went completely out of her sight.......i remember her everyday,every moment,every second.Maybe one day i wont remember myself...but i will always remember the sacrifices this lady has made for me...i just wish a day comes when i would stand tall in front of the whole world and touch her feet and say-"Whatever i have been,i am and i will be is all because of her.she is my world...PERSONIFIED!!!"

And all i can say now to her is I LOVE YOU,I MISS YOU!!!........i may not be the best child in the world but u definitely are the best mother i could have got.......Thanks for giving life to me and more importantly showing me the way to live it...

ABURIDDO LIFE...

Aburrido...spanish word for boring...and an apt description of my life here........projects,assignments and presentations-not at all a prob!!but only if there is some life beyond the seemingly eternal voyage between college and hostel......i mean its really embarrasing to say that i live in MUMBAI.....

and its only because of the huge huge gap between expectations and reality.huh????life again.......

You get what you never desire and what you desire is something........far beyond your reach.hey hey tell you something,i have great dreams in life..."great" that's the word......people who know them say--"you expect too much from life". vat else do i do then???just accept whatever crap comes my way and get the best out of them.....i know that's supposedly the most ideal way to live life but then arent the most greatest people in world those who have never followed the widely treaded paths???my god.. hadnt it been for the thoughts about my life and career i would have run away from here.on second thoughts this hopeless phase of life is actaully making me more determined to get vat i want so as to never end in situations like this.dnt know vats in store for future(short term ......long term i pretty much aware of..) but my dreams,my ambitions..no matter how much unrealistic they sound to people are my life support system here.........

P.S-im not a frustated or depressed personality as it may appear on reading this...its just that my friends here who feel the same are not bloggers like me and those who are havnt written about it!!

The Self-Made Eternal Bond!!!

I remember who would not show her completed homework to teacher only because she didnt want me to be scolded alone for not completing the work.........I remember who would come running to meet me at night on hearing that my mood is not good.......I remember who would call me up ten times in a day only because i said that" i feel happy when i talk to you"......and I also remember who hugged me and said "I'l always be with you" when I was rude to her,indifferent to her for 3-4 months......who are they???in first case...shaswati,second case....aman,third case.....gopesh and fourth case.....shaswati again---------my BEST FRIENDS!!!!

All four of us meet in class five -twelve years back....were kids then(and not at all smart as ten yr olds today..)...career,life,love.......alien to everything...what was interesting for us was the content of others' lunch box or the new video game that someone bought.Life was so simple then....no complexes,no competition,no grudges........only friendship!!!It was the innocence and purity of childhood that got me close to these three cartoons and made them forever and forever........my BEST FRIENDS!!!!

I had no intention to write about them here today but a call from shaswati yesterday with aman's voice schreeching from behind just took me back to those wonderful moments that we have spent together..well it aroused in me a bit 'J' factor too........shas and aman together at home and i here 1800 kms away from them working on a useless assignment.Huh???life can be so hellish!!!Aman is at home after around six months....cdnt meet him when i left for mumbai......and dnt know when will i see him again in person...he's gem of a person but never misses a chance to pull my leg(sometimes even publically!!!!..what a friend i have) and vice versa too.He has given me a special name(which cannot be disclosed here) loves goosiping like anything....im dead if he reads this....he's one essential pillar of my emotional support system and his funny but encouraging words are just a call away(hmmm....he's become a bangalorean now....calls are more than meetings). Shaswati...my alter ego!!!couldnt have asked for a better friend than her....more than love or affection........i respect her...respect for sticking to the right things no matter how difficult situations become......respect for forgiving my mistakes and bearing with all my nuisance.......and respect for being the perfect agony aunt for me........I only have one thing to say to her-"Shas I love you!!!.I will never hurt you again........just be a bit patient with me as you always have been.......you know how i am......."

And now my third BEST FRIEND,my captain Gopesh...probably the only person in the whole world who can make me LAUGH LAUGH and LAUGH for hours.......and then say"tumse bada paagal koi nahin"....hey captain i miss u!!!where r u???got so busy in ur life that didnt get 2 mins in the last 30 days to give me a call.......and ur cell it seems has gone off to eternal sleep.......off forever....i wish everyday to get a call,a scrap ,a sms frm u........do so as early as possible..........i havent laughed heartily for a month now.......miss u!!

Hey......my three eternal friends!!!

I LOVE YOU PEOPLE.......u know that actually!!!cant imagine this or infact any life without u 3.......always be there with me.........i need u!!!

THE LONG AWAITED RETURN...

So finally this "ever so busy" person gets time to blog again...I desperately wish to come out of pseudo busy life style and pour my heart out here...human beings are so strange..what they do is actually what they never want to do..and what they want to do is what they never find time to do..and when white hair come..they enter the brooding and repenting mode!!!

people around me have developed murderous tendency coz i am keeping them waiting for dinner...so vl have to curb my writer instincts till tomorrow.......vl surely be back !!